The butterflies that used to live in your stomach around your partner have long since flown away. One day you were married to your best friend, your partner… and now it feels as though a stranger is lying in the bed next to you.
There used to be soft touches, private jokes, and long talks where you looked into each other’s eyes… and that undeniable feeling of happiness just being with each other. Now, you both spend more time with your phones or the TV than with each other.
When you do talk, it always seems to be about the kids… never about each other, how you feel, or what went wrong. The thought of turning to your partner and asking them for the love you want leaves you shaking and afraid because you don’t know if they’ll respond to your need or just pull away.
The thought of being rejected by your partner… again… is more than you can stand. You miss that undeniable spark you used to have.
Maybe you’ve even tried couples counseling before.
Hope is fading fast, and you worry you may be past the point that anything can help.
And you don’t want to waste any more time or money on something that might not work.
I can help you both begin to turn things around.
The couples I work with say they understand each other so much better after counseling. They look at the problems and fights they used to have in a different way. They get out of the same old ruts and are no longer afraid to ask for the love from their partner they want and need. They know that when they reach out to their partner, their partner will be there, ready and willing to give and receive the love and support they crave.
In traditional couples counseling, the therapist generally teaches you tools for better communication, but that doesn’t always fix the problem. You can talk about the problem; but when you still feel disconnected and hungry for love, you’ll just repeat that dance over and over… with nothing at the end but a cold, empty bed.
When couples work with me, you learn to recognize the subtle cues your partner is giving – that they are reaching out to try to connect with you.
The problem is those cues often come across as negative. They can look like nagging, telling you what to do, or questioning your whereabouts. Your partner’s tone that seemed so angry and condescending you now understand is actually fear of losing you. All of these things are ways your partner is trying to connect with you, not understanding that their actions are pushing you further away.
You’ll also learn to meet your partner where they are. While you may long for your partner to tell you how much you mean to them, they may not have the vocabulary for this yet – but that doesn’t mean they can’t learn it.
You know that waiting around for things to get better hasn’t helped. You’re just further apart now than you were at any time in your relationship.
It doesn’t have to be that way. I know you’re both so busy with your lives, but it’s not too late to make a change for the better.
You can rediscover the love you have for each other.
We’ll learn about your needs and recommend one of our specialized therapists.